le sigh

So it's Christmas Eve.. should be a happy, merry time right? maybe not so much this year. This is the first time EVER that one of my immediate family is not here. I miss you so much Wa! Not only that, but Dad ended up back in the hospital on monday. irregular heartbeat and kept almost fainting. Apparently when they released him, they had discontinued his blood thinner and changed all his other meds. jackasses. So Dad's sitting in the hospital for christmas, physically feeling fine, with a weirdo roommate who's non-christian so not celebrating christmas, waiting for his meds to even out. once they do he can go home. We'd had hopes that he'd be home today, but it doesn't look like it now. My extended family all gathers for christmas eve each year. as long as i can remember, it's been at Grandma's house... until last year when it got moved to my parents' where there is soo much more space for our growing family. Well, this year Mom is more than willing to let the party go on if she's home or not. I just can't do it. It's not a big venture physically because most of the food arrives with family and the pigs in a blanket are always done by my baby cousin (who's now what.. 22? gah!) But without Wa? And with Dad in the hospital? I cannot emotionally handle hosting that party in my parents' house. So we've moved the gathering to my baby cousin's parents' place. I'm so grateful that our family is so flexable! My sister's husband and kids are going to be there, and were willing to travel even further to another Aunt's home if needed.

So during naptime today my MIL is babysitting so The hubby and I will head to the hospital with christmas gifts. I spread the word to the family that everyone is more than welcome to stop by and visit. We can't bring dad to Christmas Eve, so I'm doing my best to bring christmas eve to my Daddy.

on that same kind of sad note.. one of the Catholic campus ministers from my university days passed away last week. After a fall she was diagnosed with cancer.. in her brain and collarbone, and i'd heard her hip too. She was diagnosed Nov 2nd, and passed away at home, resting comfortably with a smile on her face Dec 18th. Anne was a wonderful source of support for so many over the years. She was accepting of all kinds of people, and didn't care that I'd never even been baptized. If the church would have let her, she would have gladly married my hubby and I. And she gave the best, warmest hugs ever. Anne, you will be missed!

What a mixed holiday season it is this year.. Missing so many people, and blessed by the ones that are here.

Today

Dad should finally be on his way home today! He's been up walking on his own this weekend and feeling much better, hitting the milestones they require before they'll release him :)

Post Surgery

Dad's surgery was scheduled for 7am Monday, so i dragged my ass out of the house waaaay too early and got there at 6. (they said they'd take him between 6 n 7) there were a bunch of staff members that stopped in to say hi to dad.. several that hadn't seen him since he woke up, so he didn't recognize them at all, but they were all thrilled at how good he looked and sounded, and told him so. Apparently the hospital has been doing the hypothermia treatment for about a year - still a really new thing, and only done for patients that fit certain criteria, so there haven't been all that many cases.

Dad's surgeon talked with mom when he was done around 1:30. went well, needed to do 4 bypasses, and found a couple of cracked ribs. kinda explains why his chest hurt THAT badly.. not just from compressions which is typical, but also his ribs and some bruising. Dad was joking before surgery that he needs to find Chris (guy that was doing compressions) and jump on his chest later.

so i went to see Dad after hubby got home yesterday.. he was sitting up in a chair when i got there! they woke him up around 1pm.. so he's back to the slightly fuzzy stage, coughing alot which hurts like hell.. but he's doing really well. Dan the RN (he was working with dad yesterday too) said that he'll probably be ready to switch units sometime today which is a good sign, and another (final) step towards going home! I think I'm going to do the same thing today.. go visit when hubby gets home. We were supposed to get 2-3in of snow by 8am and then turn to sleet and rain later, but it's 7am and we have a good 3in already. I'm glad I got my errands done yesterday. Hopefully it'll be ok by 5!

huge improvements

Dad's stable again.. no insulin, no drugs at all other than a blood thinner. yay! he wasn't exactly in good spirits, but he's totally himself. no vegetable! he was making very dad-like jokes all afternoon, and rememebred me and mom no prob.. rememebred the couple of co-workers that stopped by.. my aunts.. we had to tell him what happened a couple times, but that's to be expected. short term memory is fuzzy.. long term is no prob. he doesn't remember if he ate his muffin on the way to work wednesday. He;s going pretty damn good.

monday morning they're planning to do bypass surgery. we talked with the surgeon that'll do it, and he said 3 or 4 arteries - so a tripple or quadruple bypass. that in and of itself is scary as hell, but he's doing really well now. he's on a nasal canula (the air tube under the nose) instead of the mask.. looks good, talking a bit tho it's painful to breathe.. Just need to keep him comfortable and stable for the weekend, and then surgery. I was absolutely thrilled when i got to the hospital and dad was sitting up with his eyes open!

thanks for the prayers, guys.. keep 'em coming!

Update: 10pm

Dad should be up to temp by now.. took 12hrs, but not a single hitch! everything is looking good and smooth. there was a bit of aspirated pneumonia that showed up on an x-ray yesterday that's now gone.. some blood marker that goes up when there's a heart attack/episode/whatever is trending well down now, so whatever happened is in the past... all fantastic things!

they're going to get him to normal body temp and keep him stable for the night. sometime tomorrow they're going to do a catherization and see if there's blockages in his arteries.. put in stents if appropriate.. and most likely after that (could be before) they'll back off on the sedation and see if he'll breathe on his own. so he *could* wake up tomorrow sometime. everything is looking positive..

exactly a year after..

my brother in law's dad suddenly died in his sleep, and about 8.5mo after my only sister died, my Dad had a pretty bad heart attack. thankfully he was at work early (at a hospital!) because on any other day he would have been driving still. thankfully he was talking to one of his coworkers when he dropped mid-sentence. thankfully a dr who usually isn't in his office at that hour was there right around the corner. We have alot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Dad is sedated and stable in the coronary care unit, being treated with a hypothermia procedure.. keeps him cooled to 92 degrees for 24 hrs and then rewarmed over 8-12 hrs to minimize any neurological damage. they'll be starting the warming process in a little over an hr from now, and once he's warm and awake they can start testing to see what happened and if there's any damage. No news overnight was great news, so mom and I are doing ok..

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers

drunken sailor

we've had an eventful week here.. Lilly finally cut that 4th bottom tooth, so we're up to 10! the 4 top and 4 bottom front, plus two top molars. and she smiles alot more while showing her top teeth now :)

So since mid october Lilly has been talking a few wobbly steps even tho she can basically run with a walker. well, this weekend she figured out how to really walk on her own and that it's faster (not having to find her walker and then get where she wants)

eeek!

Yesterday was brutal.. turns out Lilly decided to cut her first two top molars. she was MISERABLE all day long, refusing to nap, didn't eat much.. we went to grandma's in hopes of a good distraction which did work for awhile. and she ate some spaghetti and meatballs and fruit.. but good lord she was cranky! 3 minutes into the ride home she started to sleep, so Daddy climbed into the back to keep her awake til we got home. and i thought we were doing well, getting her to bed around 6:15.. that is until she woke up screaming at 7! It took us both quite awhile to get her calmed down, but eventually she relaxed.. Finally got her back to bed around 9:30, this time without a peep. Thankfully she's still quiet so I can get a few things done, the dogs out & fed, and run thru the shower.

oh yeah, and I'm fighting a head cold. great timing, eh? :)

the end is near..

a quickie update on the lil one..

Lilly now has 7 teeth, and will show anyone close enough by biting them! She bit me last night through my jeans.. anyone have ideas on how to stop her from doing that, or is it just a phase she'll outgrow?

She's down to scheduled nursing before naptime and bedtime.. but holding on to first thing in the am. I gave her a sippy of milk and held her yesterday, but she had to nurse a bit. Don't think she got much of anything before she went back to the sippy. it seems to be going really well! I'm still a bit sad about weaning, but I think the time is right for us both. especially since she hasn't been asking to nurse any time other than after getting up in the AM.

And the biggie.. Lilly can take several steps in a row before giving up and crawling, or grabbing her walker and taking off. not on demand, but she can do it!

another cart

so out of sheer coincidence, i just found a giveaway for a double stroller!



http://cradleandall.sears.com/

http://www.mommybrainreports.com/giveaway-sears-cradleandall

Pictures..

ok sorry.. the birthday pictures will be up shortly. It's on my list, but the thank you cards need to be done first! I'll satiate your needs tho with these

Barb - I think I was channeling you yesterday! I was checking out a neighborhood garage sale, and found a side by side double stroller. In good condition. Stickered for $8. We are talking about the cart way before the horse here, but I got it for $5!! Not a stroller for shopping, but for walks? it's so worth $5. :) Now we just have to find somewhere to store it..

hmm...

man.. I need to change the top picture. that was from January! eek!

so no real big news here.. we're running around like chickens minus heads (ok maybe it's just me and my FIL) getting things ready for Lilly's party on saturday. But yesterday my FIL scored big! he stopped in to the local welding supply place to ask about helium. Now at the party store 20 min from here, you can rent a small tank (for 3 days only) for $30 that fills 60-12in balloons, or buy a lil $19 tank at target that does 30-9in ones. what did my my father in law get? a half empty huge huge tank that should still fill 100 balloons.. for $30! and he picked it up yesterday, so that's one less thing we need to do Fri/Sat. Good deal, huh Kelly? :)

I still need to do laundry, make tortellini salad, get feta for said salad, find buttermilk for Lilly's cake, make cookies, charge my camera battery, clean the house, make babyfood, clean IL's house, not mess up Lilly's naptime now that it's a lil earlier... and sustain my (almost) 1yr old's life!

on a different note.. the following may be TMI for some - have i told you lately that I hate my breast pump? hate hate hate pumping! I know i could just stop and give her the milk I have frozen, and just let her nurse when she wants instead of the sippy.. especially since we've started giving her a bit of whole milk in a sippy in the afternoon. but UGH! it feels like if I do that, my supply will drop even more, and she'll ween herself. Last night she barely nursed on my right, and only for a few minutes on my left before she was clearly done and ready for bed. My baby is growing up and not needing me as much already!

toofers

Lilly's now working on her 4th tooth! she got her two bottom middle teeth awhile ago, and a week and a half ago we noticed she had a top tooth. But not one of the standard two front teeth - her 3rd tooth is what will be the 2nd from the middle! just odd. And now her 4th is cutting through, next to the 3rd, but it's a front tooth :)

Lilly's already doing things her own way. I think we'll have our hands full with her!

damn..

holy crap. I've been a huge blog slacker! I'm great at keeping up with others' blogs.. even commenting on them.. but to actually post something on my own? I think I warned you guys, but still! I'll *try* to post random things when they come up, rather than trying to spend the time and write a coherent, eloquent post :)

we're rapidly coming up on Lilly's 1st birthday. a very scary thing to me - it doesn't seem like it's been nearly that long since we brought her home! we've got most of the decorations, plates, and whatnot.. but have i addressed the invites and mailed them? nope! So if anyone is in the area, come on over to my inlaws on sept 19th to celebrate! just let me know you're coming ;)

Our little girl is cruising along the furniture like a pro.. and wants nothing more than for you to walk behind her so she can hold onto your fingers and GO. the end is near! as it is, she flies around the house behind her push toy, plowing up her little toys and getting both dogs worked up. She's so stubborn too.. if she wants to go somewhere, she'll get there one way or another. she'll go crawling down the driveway, bare-legged, to follow her daddy. nevermind the scraped and lightly bleeding knees and toes!

we spent a lot of the super hot and tropically humid weekend (last weekend) in the pool at my IL's and then my aunt's.. Lilly had a grand old time just floating around, and the hubs actually got in a pool for the first time since our honeymoon!!

She's getting more and more hair, tho you still have to be close to see it because it's so light. her baby gut? not so much! that you can see from across the room :)

this weekend i went to check out a garage sale in town, and found a Step 2 play house! they said it cost them $300.. i got it, in really good condition, for $65! :) I'll do my best to upload and post a pic of it in our backyard soon. I actually have a pic taken, but it's in my camera... :) Lilly doesn't seem super interested in the inside yet, but is absolutely fascinated by the doorbell!

The hubby has a dr appointment in sept. with a new urologist. the guy he saw that diagnosed his varicosele just didn't sit well with either of us. the new guy? don't know for sure, but he seems way better and actually specializes in infertility. hopefully we won't have to try for 1+ yr to have #2.

ok.. there's more, obviously, but i still need to shower before the big ball of energy wakes up!


edit: just out of curiosity.. would everyone that reads this post a comment? I'm wondering who actually reads my nonsense!

rain, rain, go away...

Words are a little beyond my reach today, but I wanted to post something, if for no other reason than to say "I'm still here!"

Lilly is pulling up on the dog crates every time she gets near them, and is army-crawling all over the house now... the end is near!!

We are still house hunting... a lil hesitantly because of the lack of OT for my hubby and some of his underlings were let go for a "lack of work." Keep in mind there is a TON of work for them, and there is a particular manager that doesn't do a single thing yet makes in a year what the two other guys make combined. But anyway.. we're still looking for a place that will work and that we can afford... I can't wait to get out of this town.

I finally got into the basement this evening to my rowing machine! the Hubby and I need to talk later and set up a deal, where he gets to hide in the garage with a dog after work, AND I get to go downstairs.. before I make dinner! I'm still at work for goodness sake! I need a break...

A Little Late

I know it's a day late, but Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies!

a word of thanks..

I just wanted to thank everyone that took the time to send emails and cards, or to call.. it means more to me and my family than you will ever truly know.

she was brain dead when she got to Albany Med... we had to let her go.

my dear, beautiful sister died Sunday, 6 days after her 33rd birthday at 2:35am.

Wa, I love you and miss you so much! I don't know what we're going to do without you.

please pray

My sister has bacterial meningitis.. last I heard she was being flown to Albany Medical Center since it's that serious.. Please pray for her, her cancer survivor husband, and their 8mo old twins.

Wa, I love you!

random stuff

We are doing our best to stay warm and survive until spring makes it's way to the Northeast. This week Lilly's Dad had his first cold since we met, and actually TOOK A DAY OFF! Yes, this is such a rare occurrence, I had to make a note of it. Poor guy felt awful! Thankfully, he's feeling 1000 times better now. Just in time to go to the dentist for the first time in years. Lucky me, my appointment is next week.

As of Tuesday, Miss Lilly is now 15lbs! No wonder my arm cramps up when I carry her around the house all day... She's also eating some solid foods - seems to really love oatmeal, green beans, and peas. Sweet potatoes and carrots go ok, but better when mixed with some oatmeal. The Hubby wanted to give her a sippy cup, and she does alright with BM in it, though she ends up leaking alot of it out the corners of her mouth. Not too big of a deal, but then she smells like sour milk an hour later! She's been rolling over, both from her belly to back and back to belly, for a while now, and has been working like a champ at sitting up. Lilly's been making some great progress!

My sister (Wa) is coming down a week from Sunday so we can cook. When we were both prego we had a grand ol' time cooking a ton of food, which we froze for post-baby almost instant-dinners. This time we're going to tackle baby food too! Her twins are 8 weeks older than Lilly so we can make big batches of sweet potato, peas, applesauce, and whatnot... and nothing should go to waste. I expect a very interesting day, with three babies and a busy kitchen. I'm really looking forward to it!

Wa and I need to talk about the annual camping trip too. Her inlaws always go the last week of the summer, and Hubby and I got included several years ago now. Last year we didn't go, since Wa and I were both very pregnant.. and I'm not too sure how it'll work this year with a baby. and two dogs. and a Honda Element! We had that Element packed to the brim last time, and our little dog was just 11 weeks old so she rode in the Hubby's lap! We'll have to either rent a trailer for our stuff.. or go with Hubby's idea and rent an RV. Ever seen the movie RV? I can see that kind of stuff happening, with the waste pipe clogging up and exploding or something. Although having some good space to put up the pack'n'play for Lilly to sleep in would be nice. Our tent was just big enough for us and the two dogs (one was a lil pup, and the St Bernard was 90ish lbs. We now have a 40lb pup, and a 105lb great dane.) We need *at least* a bigger tent now!

A few weeks ago now, the Hubby's cousin came out with her two lil girls to visit... We had a really nice time! L, you've got to come back soon! Maybe sometime this spring Lilly and I can make the drive, and check out the "new" house...

We also had a visit from the Hubby's brother's family.. their little girl is 7 1/2 weeks older than Lil! (it was a busy baby summer!) It was nice to see them as well.

And now, some pics :)

Lookin' cute on the way to Gram's

Playing with Grandma

Lilly with her twin cousins!

practicing that rolling over thing

My pretty Valentines roses

And my first video with the digital camera!

Lillian was having a good time blowing raspberries last night, so I had to try to capture the sound for prosperity!

TGIF and wish a Happy Birthday to the Hubby tomorrow!

Woohoo!

On the one day a week my husband is home, I'm not going to spend the time to write a "what we've been up to" post.. but there is some fantastic news!

My friend Mrs Fakes (http://itsnotamagicwand.blogspot.com/) had her triplets on Tuesday! All three girls are healthy and vibrant.. Rachel, Sophia, and Morgan, a combined weight of over 12lbs. :) Momma is home with Sophia and Morgan, recovering from her c-section.. Rachel's busy at the NICU eating and growing. Our love and joy goes out to them. Congrats, Momma.. I'm so proud of you!

4 month appointment and other stuff

Tuesday was Lillian's 4 month well-baby checkup, and she took it all like a champ! according to the office scale, she's now 15lbs and 25 3/4 inches. I guess I'm doing *something* right, huh? :) Of course, when we were at a local hospital's BF support group last Tuesday..their digital scale said she was 13lb 15oz. There is NO way she gained an entire pound in a week, so one or both scales are off. But whatever.. Lilly's doctor is happy with her gains, and more importantly so am I ;)

I also got my haircut again, since the lil one kept twisting her fingers into my hair at the nape of the neck - particularly painful when it's up in a ponytail!

Yesterday was our big dog's followup at the vet after a droopy eye tuck and being spayed two weeks ago. Roxy sooooo didn't like that doctor, but her incision looks good, and her eyelid stitches were removed. One of these days I need to take her to the pet store or somewhere fun. I don't want her to think every time she gets in the Element that she's going to the vet!

I also got to chat with Mrs Fakes yesterday.. I'm so excited that she'll have her triplet girls home within the next three weeks! YAY! Of course once they're all home, I'll miss being able to chat as (not so) often as we do now.

Today, I need to take down Christmas. Yes, we are slackers. BUT it's been so freaking cold (see previous post!) that I haven't been able to stand being on the front porch to pack the decorations. We have the tree on our enclosed porch every year because of the cat originally, and now with the two dogs.. and a soon-to-be-mobile baby? yeah. (we also have a whopping 884 sq ft house, so floor space is a little tight with 2 big dog crates)

OH! I almost forgot.. Sunday my sister (Wa) and I got together with our three baby girls for a mall outing. we got nothing done other than feeding, diapers, and a photo shoot at Ismile... and I can't even begin to tell you how cute the pics came out! I'll try to get a print scanned and posted one of these days. They asked us if they could hang up in the store a big print of the three girls looking in a mirror.. it's that cute! :)

BRRR!

time: 7:42 am

indoor temp in front of the super drafty window: 58 degrees

outdoor temp: MINUS 12 degrees. As in 12 below zero!

Gold Stars!

Everyone needs some motivation in order to loose weight, eat healthy, exercise, behave, whatever the resolution may be. I jokingly mentioned using gold stars for when I make it down to the basement and actually USE my rowing machine.. and what did I end up doing? I got a pack of stars at the store a couple days later.

Once I "earned" a star and put it on the calender that is hanging on the kitchen wall, I imagined what it would look like with a bunch of stars. As lame and childish as the stickers and imagery may sound, that was encouraging! I'm not aiming to get a star every day. Rather just to have a bunch of them on there by the end of the month. If it's several days in a row, and then none for a few days, then so be it. I've got an almost 4 month old daughter to care for! To be able to SEE what I've done for the month at a glance seems to be helping more than anything else has so far. :)


Another step I've taken in my weightloss goal is to stop buying cookies (and forbid the Hubby from buying me ice cream!) If I really want cookies, then I have to make cookies. No more purchased goodies. So yeah, I've had cookies, but I know exactly what's in them - less weird crap, and more oatmeal! yumm... oatmeal chocolate chip cookies... good stuff! I do have to admit to buying one of the tiny Ben & Jerry's ice cream single serve cups the other week tho.. but it was forced self restraint, right? :)

I've also started shredding carrots into tomato-based foods. I got that idea from making a copy cat version of Olive Garden's pasta e'fagioli... I never taste the veggies in that soup, so I tried putting shredded carrots in taco meat last week. Neither of us could taste it! Our local grocery store also carries frozen chopped onion. PERFECT for those of us who hate chopping onion.. and those of us who don't like the texture in food can just cook a lil bit up really quick and add it to almost anything. With the fancy pants new blender that I won from Cranky Fitness, I've been thinking back to one of her posts about Jerry Seinfeld's wife's cookbook (which I can't find now, dammit!).. she basically purees veggies and hides them in regular foods for her kids. I'm so tempted to try that now that I've got The Blender..

Wa, you now know if you have spaghetti sauce or tacos at my house, it'll have hidden veggies!


And the ultimate motivation for me this week? stepping on the scale and seeing that I've lost 4 lbs since i re-started my weightloss project, post-baby. WOOHOO 4 pounds.. GO ME! :)

another random post

so I don't have much to say here.. especially since Lilly's starting to fuss, so I gotta go.. BUT yesterday I was at the store, and decided to pick up a box of that new Fake Sugar stuff, Truvia. yeah.. tried it in my coffee this morning, and I'm not impressed! It took off the bitterness of the coffee, but didn't really make it "sweet" per se.. and left a weird aftertaste. kinda like a odd film of flavor on the tongue. it's hard to explain! I say if you actually like sugar in your coffee, don't bother with the new stuff. Sugar is tried and true! :)

neighborly love

OMG I love my weird nosey neighbors right now! our house is surrounded by people on all sides so you KNOW we can't go outside without someone at least waving hi.. but since we got a good 6 inches of snow overnight and the hubby went to work without plowing... WOOHOO! the neighbor with the snowblower on his lawn tractor is now clearing our driveway! absolutely fantastic :) I'm SO making cookies to bring over later to say thanks! yeah, yeah.. I know I can use our snowblower. I've done it before. but with the baby in the house and noone to keep an eye on her while i spend an hour or so outside? I don't think so!

Snow day cookies for us!

yay!

my fancy-pants blender arrived today! just as I was trying to get the great dane Roxy out the door for only the second pee break of the day. Poor dogger was spayed yesterday, and on top of that had her teeth cleaned, nails cut, and droopy eyelid taken care of (drooped inwards and would irritate her eye. kinda like a perpetual eyelash stuck on your eye. not cool!) She's only eaten a lil bit of hamburg since getting home yesterday at 5pm, so we're a lil worried. the upside is that she's moving around the house a lil more now and we're waiting for her pain meds to kick in. Hopefully we'll have a nice, uneventful night.

and yes, of course while Roxy was keeping herself cooped up in her crate I couldn't help but think of our St Bernard that had to be put down back in May. We still miss you, Ellie!

so anyhow, my blender is here! woohoo! I'll have to play with it when my mom gets here later this afternoon.. if you're lucky, i might even post a pic of it! :)

a random link

It's F'ing COLD out here... like a whopping 9 degrees. Fahrenheit! rediculous... I'm procrastinating about taking the dogs out, so i'll write a random post. :)

Sometime today, I'll make it downstairs to my lonely rowing machine. My New Years Resolution? to actually use said machine more often. like more than once a month. preferably more than once a week! Maybe i should get some gold stars and put them up on the wall calander to mark the days I DO get down there. And silver stars for the days i DON'T eat ice cream? ehh...one thing at a time, I suppose

I found this blog post thru some "6 degrees of links" (yeah.. i'm coining the term, dammit!) but i think it's worth linking to here. For those of us who will NEVER look like this airbrushed teenager, here is a great Letter To Penthouse about how they present a more realistic image of the female body than the women's mags do: http://everygymsnightmare.com/?p=123