le sigh

So it's Christmas Eve.. should be a happy, merry time right? maybe not so much this year. This is the first time EVER that one of my immediate family is not here. I miss you so much Wa! Not only that, but Dad ended up back in the hospital on monday. irregular heartbeat and kept almost fainting. Apparently when they released him, they had discontinued his blood thinner and changed all his other meds. jackasses. So Dad's sitting in the hospital for christmas, physically feeling fine, with a weirdo roommate who's non-christian so not celebrating christmas, waiting for his meds to even out. once they do he can go home. We'd had hopes that he'd be home today, but it doesn't look like it now. My extended family all gathers for christmas eve each year. as long as i can remember, it's been at Grandma's house... until last year when it got moved to my parents' where there is soo much more space for our growing family. Well, this year Mom is more than willing to let the party go on if she's home or not. I just can't do it. It's not a big venture physically because most of the food arrives with family and the pigs in a blanket are always done by my baby cousin (who's now what.. 22? gah!) But without Wa? And with Dad in the hospital? I cannot emotionally handle hosting that party in my parents' house. So we've moved the gathering to my baby cousin's parents' place. I'm so grateful that our family is so flexable! My sister's husband and kids are going to be there, and were willing to travel even further to another Aunt's home if needed.

So during naptime today my MIL is babysitting so The hubby and I will head to the hospital with christmas gifts. I spread the word to the family that everyone is more than welcome to stop by and visit. We can't bring dad to Christmas Eve, so I'm doing my best to bring christmas eve to my Daddy.

on that same kind of sad note.. one of the Catholic campus ministers from my university days passed away last week. After a fall she was diagnosed with cancer.. in her brain and collarbone, and i'd heard her hip too. She was diagnosed Nov 2nd, and passed away at home, resting comfortably with a smile on her face Dec 18th. Anne was a wonderful source of support for so many over the years. She was accepting of all kinds of people, and didn't care that I'd never even been baptized. If the church would have let her, she would have gladly married my hubby and I. And she gave the best, warmest hugs ever. Anne, you will be missed!

What a mixed holiday season it is this year.. Missing so many people, and blessed by the ones that are here.